you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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