It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I wish I only lived at night.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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