i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
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A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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