dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
