After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
