my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
