His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
should my penis look like a turkey
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
