Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
