your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
