the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
