drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
