Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
