he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
