Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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