Can Purell be used as lube?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
