I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
too bad you live with your parents still
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
