speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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