One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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