So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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