can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
