Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
