He uses pillows to masturbate.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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