His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
