I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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