a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
