Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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