Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
