dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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