the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
