Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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