Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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