I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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