I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
