Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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