Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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