I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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