If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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