finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
