If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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