I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So many bounce houses so little time
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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