Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
