Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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