I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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