all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
