i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
