Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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