I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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