Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
