god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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