hell yes lets make some ravioli
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
