You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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