Can i not drive my cunt home
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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