like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
