Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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