On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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