How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
