He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
