I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
