Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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