O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
