he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
