i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
