Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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