32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
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Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
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Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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