So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
