Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
